I’ve been married to my husband for 6 years. 3 of those years were us both working from home in the same house. We were spending all day and all night together. It was a dream to me. However, I always knew Jordan’s goal was to tour. It just hadn’t happened while I was married to him. He had toured many years before we were together so I heard his happy stories on the road. It was all so… romanticized… like it wouldn’t be my reality because, well… it wasn’t. Only his stories gave me insight. No real life experience.

Then it happened. He was given the opportunity to fill in for 3 shows at NYE 2023. It was exciting, magical even. It was possibly the best whirlwind we’ve been on together as a married couple. I had my own celebrating going on as I was in the thick of prepping my genderless premium clothing brand to launch at the beginning of March, only a couple months away. I was in hyper focus mode while Jordan was gone. I shut everything out (including him) to tunnel vision this dream of mine to reality. March 6 the brand launched, everything was great. I did some traveling to SXSW to help host an event only a day after launch and once I got back home… I was still riding the high. Things were good…

Until it wasn’t. Once business as usual set in, it was only then that I recognized that this was what it was really like being the wife of a touring musician. Sitting at home, alone. It was like post-launch depression met my reality check. And this is coming from someone who truly loves being alone. In fact, I willingly lived alone in Los Angeles for 4 years before I got married and loved every second of it. The only word I had for it at the time was shock. I was experiencing shock.

Months before then at the very beginning of Jordan touring, my family and close friends would ask “how are you doing with him gone all the time?” and I would quickly answer “I love being alone, you know that! This is amazing!” Well of course… when you go from 3 years of waking up, WFH, and falling asleep next to your husband, it can be a nice change of pace to be alone while he’s on tour until that “alone-honeymoon” phase wears off and you’re feeling like you’re single again… but with a ring on your finger. Needing to maintain a healthy long-distance marriage while living your days with him gone… it can be a mind fuck, emotional fighting cage, and everything else you can think up.

I’ve struggled with mental health in my adult years. In fact, the main reason we left Los Angeles was because my panic attacks were out of control. So it was no surprise to myself that I wasn’t doing well while Jordan was on tour earlier this year.

There were a few extremely dark days, but one of those in particular I remembered my friend Kelly back in L.A. Her husband was also a bassist and musical director just like Jordan, and they’ve been on tour for years and years. So I texted her asking for tips and tricks. She was the only person I knew that was going through exactly what I was. No therapist, friend or family member could have helped me unless they were a touring family like us.

As Kelly and I were on the phone, I told her in a slightly shameful giggle that I Googled WAGs of touring musicians. Nothing came up. I was desperate for solidarity, help, anything from people that get it. I even started to say that I wanted to create this community for people because I found it ridiculous that it wasn’t already out there. In that moment she shared with me that she has actually tried to start something like this years ago, but it didn’t gain enough traction. So we decided then and there to start Side Stage Tour. We are really excited to provide this community for you and we hope you’ll join us.

You can fill out a form to get started here.

*oh and i’m doing much better now thanks for asking 😉

— Laura Landers